A woman has been backed for refusing to cancel a trip to Italy with her best male friend – who said she had sex with him – after her boyfriend said he was uncomfortable.
The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Unique-Salt-1013, reported the situation on Reddit’s popular Am I The A**hole forum, where it received more than 9,100 upvotes and 2,500 comments. You can find the post here.
According to a survey by the Survey Center on American Life, more than 58 percent of Americans say they have a close friend of the opposite sex.
The survey also found that 63 percent of men are more likely to say they have a close friend of the opposite sex, compared to 53 percent of women.
Among married women, only 43 percent have a close friend of the opposite sex, compared to 54 percent of married men.
For single women, that number rises to nearly two-thirds of those who say they have a close male friend.
While many of these friendships remain platonic, recent data suggests that men are more attracted to their girlfriends than women.
In the post, titled “AITA for refusing to cancel a trip with my best friend,” the 25-year-old said she had been dating her 28-year-old boyfriend for almost three months.
“I have an upcoming trip to Italy with my best friend that my boyfriend wants me to cancel,” the post reads. “We’ve been planning this trip for months now, booked the tickets 6 months ago and my boyfriend doesn’t care that it was all planned before him.”
The OP said the reason her boyfriend wants her to cancel the trip is because her best friend is a 25-year-old man and he “doesn’t trust” them to spend a week alone on the trip.
In an update, the OP clarified that she had slept with the friend in the past, which she explained as “five minutes of drunk sex” about seven years ago.
“We have no romantic or physical attraction to each other, so we decided to put it in the past and just be friends,” the update reads. “Since then we’ve been on a lot of trips, previously stayed in hotel rooms and no one moved towards the other.”
The OP said that while she “understands” that this is a “factor” in her boyfriend’s well-being, she doesn’t think it’s enough if he doesn’t trust her.
“We’re sharing a hotel room to save some money, but there are separate beds,” the post reads. “I’ve been best friends with this guy since freshman year and I have no intention of not being friends with him because of someone I’ve only recently started dating.”
The trip is three weeks away and the OP said she still hasn’t told her girlfriend how her boyfriend is feeling.
“So, AITA for refusing to cancel?” read the post.
More than 2,500 users commented on the post, many supporting the woman’s decision not to cancel her trip to Italy.
“NTA they have been dating for 3 months and he is already acting insecure and controlling,” one user commented. “Just break up with him.”
“NTA, but be aware that after only 3 months he’s trying to control you!” Another user commented. “Imagine how much worse this could be in 6 months or even a year.”
“Your boyfriend’s insecurities are his own problem. You’re with him, not your travel companion,” commented another. “If he doesn’t see it, that’s his problem, not yours.”
But some commenters disagreed, saying her boyfriend was justified because he didn’t want her to leave.
“ESH I would still go but I would get my own room out of respect for my boyfriend,” commented another. “You planned this trip when you were single, now you’re not. If it were the other way around, Reddit wouldn’t be so quick to be, ohh, that’s a red flag he’s trying to control you. You wouldn’t like your boyfriend sharing a room with a girl you don’t like.”
“Yeah, I’m honestly surprised so many people are saying she’s not a TA…” commented another. “Or that BF is controlled or ‘unsafe’.”
“YTA. Your boyfriend may seem a little controlling at first, but you’ve admitted to having a sexual past with your boyfriend — something you conveniently left out of the original post,” one user commented. “It completely changes the dynamic.”
news week asked u/Unique-Salt-1013 for a comment.
Other viral posts
In another viral Reddit post, a woman was slammed for pouring water on her boyfriend’s close friend, while a man sparked debate by saying he was going on vacation with his girlfriend.
Another woman has been backed for confronting her husband’s friend, claiming she “needs to be checked out”.