Granddad leafs through his raked-up pile of autumn jokes | News, Sports, Jobs

Hey quick, tell me, if money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite time of year? Autumn of course!

Oh what do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Yes, pumpkin.

You heard what happened when the turkey got into a fight, right? The stuffing was knocked out of his body.

As of Thursday, 9:04 p.m., autumn broke upon us. We are in the fall of our year as we rake up what the trees leave behind. Back on the farm it was time to harvest our field corn.

I’m feeling pretty cheesy myself today. About 100 years ago, I wrote a column for the Rowe Junior High School newspaper called Cole’s Corny Corner. The school closed years ago, but I’m still here planting the corn.

After all, I’m not just dad, I’m grandpa. What’s a grandpa without grandpa jokes? It’s fall so let’s reap the harvest of grandpa jokes like…

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Why do birds fly south in the fall? It beats walking.

Why did the lions move at the end of summer? Because pride comes before a fall.

What do you call a man who really loves autumn? The fall type.

Why do trees keep trying new things? Because every autumn they open a new leaf. Or rather, let go of an old leaf.

Why does Humpty Dumpty love fall? Because he had a big fall.

Why did the pumpkin lose the boxing match? He lowered his gourd.

How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With pumpkin patch.

What is the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin Pi

Who helps pumpkins across the street to school? The hybrid pumpkin.

How did the confused pumpkin identify itself? “I’m a corn.” (Acorn squash, that is.)

What do farmers wear to stay warm while picking pumpkins or apples? A crop vest.

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How do you speak in the apple library? With your cider voice.

Why did the apple pie cry? His shells were injured.

What reads and lives in apples? bookworms.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find half a worm.

What month do trees hate? Sep-timberrrrr!

Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall? They are slightly stumped.

What did autumn say about summer? “Make yourself like a tree and go.”

What do you call it when a tree takes time off work in the fall? Paid sheet.

What do you say when a tree doesn’t think it’s autumn? disbe sheet.

Why was the tree worried that its leaves wouldn’t come back? He was not leafy in himself.

What do you call a large, colorful pile of leaves in Australia? The Leaf of the Great Barrier.

Why are trees considered carefree and serene? Because every fall they let go.

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What was the charge against the tree that left the forest at the end of autumn? Without leaves absent.

Why is it so easy to trick a leaf in the fall? You will fall for everything.

How do leaves travel? In the fall mobile.

How does an elephant get out of a tree? She sits on a leaf and waits for autumn.

Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the fall? They were mated in the fall.

What is the sweetest time of year? Why, awwwtumn, of course.

When’s the best time to stop telling fall-themed grandpa jokes? At the moment! Grandpa, get out and browse alone.

Post your father’s or grandfather’s jokes with Cole to [email protected], the Burton W. Cole page on Facebook, or

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